Tainted by the past
by Whispering Mink
Summary: Hitsugaya is left with a broken Hinamori after Aizen's betrayal. Will he be able to heal her heart or will Hinamori still cry for someone who tried to kill her?
1. Insomniac

_**~ Tainted by the past ~**_

It happened some time after Aizen taichou's betrayal. The usually happy and outgoing Hinamori, or 'Momo' among friends, began to change. Even though not all her friends noticed this, Hitsugaya certainly bid mark in the small changes in both her appearance and personality. Her hair which were usually tied up in a nice and gentle knotch were let down so her long hair cradled all the way to her shoulders, her dark brown eyes began to show sign of insomnia, and her temper began to grow to the worse. Even towards Hitsugaya. Her mood would swing from overly happy to mad in mere seconds, and while Hitsugaya was left without anything to do about it, he often just stood there and listened calmly to all the words she threw at him. Just for her, he could manage his own temper and also put aside his own emotions for the sake of hers. As she would escalate into desperation and would hit his chest with small fists, All the words who came from her mouth, were centered around one person. One man. One enemy. Aizen Taichou. . And of course only one emotion followed - jealousy. Even more jealousy than he would probably ever admit he felt.

He felt sick the first time he heard her sobbing his name against his chest. So sick that he barely could look at her. Not because he wanted to reject her, or stop caring for her, no - he could never do that, but because he found it sickening how she could still love a man who had manipulated her from the start. He even stabbed her in the intention of killing her?! How could she put that aside so easily and still waste her beautiful tears on a man who wasn't even worth it? Hinamori was worth much more than crying... All these frustrations often made him so angry that he would beat his fists against the first and best wall he came upon. Even though this anger and frustration way too often filled his heart, he would never ever! Direct this anger towards Hinamori.

That one time he had raised his hand towards her was more than enough..

Even if it was in self protection he swore that, he would never hurt her like that ever again if possible.

And even when he was aware of this pain she was suffering, he didn't even once intend to take her love. She was his childhood friend.. And even though he had deeper emotions stacked up for her in his heart he never let them leave. He wanted to feel her in any possible way. Physical and emotional, but he knew that Aizen Taichou was the only man who could take that place in her heart. He just wanted to hold his icy wing over her head as protection, and keep sending chills down her spine whenever she got too close. Because that's what a guardian does. Keeps professional and always thinks of the best for the one he is protecting. Even if it's gonna complicate his own feelings for the target, he will push his emotions aside and smile as she finds happiness with some other person.

Or so he thought.

This perfect ice wall he so carefully had built between him and Hinamori were broke down once and for all one late night. This started one week after Aizen taichou's betrayal. Hinamori would come over late at night and slip into Hitsugaya's bed without a sound or an explanation. At first he wondered if she was sleep walking, but since she every time wrapped her thin arms around his waist and lightly hold him closer against her petite body, this theory was thrown away. And he didn't dare to say anything. They just lay there so close to each other that Hitsugaya could feel her warm breath against his neck. He enjoyed this as the man he was. Even when he was well aware of the fact that he was probably just a substitute for the loss of Aizen taichou.

This act was repeated for several nights, and the improvements in her before sleepy eyes could clearly be seen when he took a glimpse of her in the morning, just before the morning meetings begun for all divisions. It seemed like she was now able to sleep somewhat properly.

Not a single word left their lips even once. Not until Hitsugaya, on the 15th night dared to speak just as she entered his room.

"Why do you not sleep alone?"

His voice was calm and even though the question might have seemed a little harsh, he had come to the conclusion that he could might as well enter the core of the problem in one swift movement. In the beginning she just stood there in the doorway with the moonlight shinning on her from the nearby window which Hitsugaya had forgot to close when he went to bed. In that moment she was the most beautiful person in the world to him. Her hair was let loose so it framed her face, her eyes seemed tired from the late hour she was in, and the white undergown she wore hung slightly loose on her right shoulder. Just enough to reveal a peak of the white skin underneath.

Hitsugaya had a hard time hiding the red flush which very quickly appeared on his otherwise cool facial expression and as she took small steps into the room he followed her intensely with his teal eyes.

"Do I bother you?" Was the words who slipped from her pale mouth. Before Hitsugaya could manage to reply her, Hinamori had crawled onto his futon and continued to speak. "I... Just don't like it... to be alone that is"

She reached out for his face, where she carefully cupped his cheeks. Hitsugaya could only look a bit confused at her while the warmth from her hands began to spread across his otherwise cool skin. For once in his life he actually enjoyed warmth. "To sneak into my bed is a little drastical.. don't you think?" He raised his eyes to meet hers as he still tried to fight the developing flush across his face. It was the first time in, who knew how long, he had been insecure while being with Hinamori. The first time was way back when they were younger, but now, after more than 100 years had he become so adept to their whole relationship, that he without any trouble could hide the loving eyes he held towards her. And of course also the childish flushes who most of all belonged to a boy at the age of 13.

Hinamori looked down. Apparently because she saw his point, and couldn't deny it. "If you want me out of here.. I'll just leave" Quickly she removed her hands from his cheeks and stood up, ready to leave but before this happened Hitsugaya grabbed her by the wrist, which made her look down at him with surprise.

He didn't speak at first, honestly he was surprised by his own action. Maybe it was because she suddenly acted somewhat normal. At least she didn't hit him or yell at him so somehow he felt a slight feeling of hope. The hope of the old Hinamori coming back to him.

"I never said that I wanted you to leave.."

She smiled lightly by these words as she once again allowed herself to sit on Hitsugaya's futon. Without any further reaction to his words, since the words apparently was enough, she crawled close to him and let her thin arms entangle him in a gentle hug. He felt weird since the whole action gave him the impression that she! Was the one giving him comfort and not the other way around.

"Please... Comfort me, Shiro-Chan" she suddenly whispered close to his ears, sending a small chill down his spine. For once in his life had the otherwise composed 10th squad captain lost it. He wanted to relent on this whole thing revolting around comfort, but the deeper emotions for Hinamori began to push against his icy facade – eagering him to comfort her in any way he possibly could. "Please" she whispered again, this time tucking gently at the smooth fabric of his Jinbei.

"But Hinamori..." He finally said, but his words were broke off when Hinamori without any further warning removed the small space which had been between them, and met his lips with her own. He froze at first, not sure how to react, but before his mind could follow up with his actions he found himself kissing back. He damned himself inwardly for having giving in to his animalistic desires but there were no turning back now.. And he enjoyed the action way too much to give up on it right now.

As they kissed, Hitsugaya let his fingers slip up to Hinamori's hair where he gently caressed her, earning small sounds from her throat, which He perceived to be of pleasure. Careful not to make the wrong move, he tugged gently at her lower lip with his teeth to beg for the entrance he longed for. He honestly felt like he was handling a tiger. A tiger who were purring at him right now, but could raise her paw and scratch him whenever she wanted to. None the less, Hinamori answered this request by slightly opening her mouth as Hitsugaya began another kiss, in which he let his tongue slip into her mouth. She had a strange taste of something he couldn't quite put his finger on.. Something salty.. and sweet at the same time. As the kiss grew more and more passionate and Hitsugaya began to completely surrender to his instincts, Hinamori slipped his fingers down to his upper body with the intention of opening the buttons on the shirt of his Jinbei.

He didn't care about it anymore. He just wanted to feel for once what he couldn't have - even if it was just a transparent dream and they, the next morning, would 'just be friends' again. After all he was not the man she saw as a lover.. sometimes he was doubting whether she even saw him as a man. And even so he still lingered by the thoughts of Hinamori being completely his for a moment.. And see the parts of her body which he knew nobody else had ever seen in that bright moonlight that was still cast upon her body . Maybe he had become too obsessed by owning her.. Owning this girl that time after time made his heart skip a beat. Both in sadness and joy of course.

Hitsugaya panted a bit when their lips finally broke from each other, and his lungs inhaled the oxygen it so desperately had lacked.

He looked down when Hinamori finally had managed to open every button on his Jinbei, and she carefully removed the shirt to reveal Hitsugaya's upper body. His upper body were pale, almost snow white, and was defined by some slightly visible muscles he had developed by his service as the 10th division's captain – and Hinamori apparently noticed this, since a slight blush steadily came across her face.

Hitsugaya felt like it was now or never. To make the final choice: Should he cross the fine line between friends and lovers, or not?


	2. Broken Balance

**Authors notes: **Hello out there, as you might can see on my stats, this was/is my first story here on *Casts confetti and celebrates*** **I've wanted to write fanfiction for this site in a long time, but since I'm danish and my writing skills in English haven't been the best, I didn't write anything. Until now ^^

I hope that my language is understandable and that you enjoy my story. I'll keep updating whenever I get the time, and of course, while I still find it enjoyable to write this or other stories x)

I really appreciate all your nice reviews for my first chapter, and it makes me smile big every time x) the reviews is what makes me hurry up to continue a story.

Please take good care of me ^^

~ Whispering Mink

**There will be some mature themes in this chapter, but nothing extremely explicit.**

The silhouette of the open window above his futon slowly began to appear in front of his eyes. Rubbing his eyes sleepy, he sat up on his futon where he immediately noticed the heaviness of his body. He felt awful. Awful and completely tired. His whole body was sore and he honestly felt like someone who had just sprinted a full marathon.

Slow but steady the occurrence of the night before came back to his still fogged head, and it immediately made his teal eyes go wide open. He shook his head and then directed his eyes towards the room, and after that his futon – which unfortunately held no sleeping Hinamori. A small sight escaped from his lips even though he would be surprised if she were actually there.

The night before had been pretty rough for him to say it in a mild way.. Both on the physical level and the mental one. After all, he lost it in the end and decided to just go with the flow, and since Hinamori never seemed to stop him, but actually had urged! Him to continue his act, he decided to complie to this request. It started almost lovingly with Hinamori leading him, and always taking the next step whenever Hitsugaya was unsure. But eventually he surrendered completely and began to take over the whole situation. He sort of wanted to forget what happened after that. How he changed, how he let his jealousy go overboard, and how he slowly threw these emotions upon Hinamori. It was not fair. He shouldn't be the one to decide her feelings, after all, he couldn't change anything if the man Hinamori really cared about was Aizen and not him. It was a truth he had a hard time realizing.

And even so, he should have stopped. As he had lost his mind and pounded her into his futon like in a trance of pleasure and jealousy he should have stopped. It was never meant for them to cross the line, but even so they did.

All the days from that episode and onwards were horrible - Like mentally choking. Before the 'accident', him and Hinamori could speak somewhat normally together from time to time, but that also changed the following day.

Hitsugaya put his traditional captain clothing on and threw his green sash over his shoulder while his thoughts still lingered at Hinamori. He had been called to an audition with the other captains, and was now making himself ready to go there. He gently rubbed his own shoulder in an attempt to lessen the soreness he had got there, while he walked out of his living barracks not so far away from the appointed room in Seireitei, where the meeting should take place. While his squad all greeted their captain, Hitsugaya just gave an almost inaudible, 'morning', before he switched to flash steps so he could get past them before they saw the cracks in their proud captains icy mask. He had lost way too much of his pride, and he didn't want his squad to see this. After all, the fall of a captain meant the fall of the leading role for the whole squad, and while Matsumomo would be able to make an substitution for a while, both Matsumomo and Hitsugaya knew that her powers weren't enough in the dark times they were wandering into. With both Aizen, Gin and Tosen gone, they lacked 3 powerful captains, so if Hitsugaya were beginning to break as well, it would be a disaster to way too many people.

As he reached the appointed room for the meeting, he was surprised to see that all the captains and their next in command had arrived, including Matsumomo...

and of course Hinamori.

With slow and steady steps he walked to his standing place at the side of Matsumomo and the meeting began shortly afterwards. It was not an unusual meeting, most of all about the situation regarding Aizens disappearance and how they were supposed to handle the growing problems it had triggered. Nothing unusual but none the less important... And even so Hitsugaya found himself looking at Hinamori almost non stop, analyzing the features of her facial expression and body language. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was wearing a pretty blank expression as if she was not really focusing on anything. Her clothing was the usual black ones, and her brown hair still seemed a bit messy like in the previous days.

His teal eyes literally stared at her, but Hinamori never once looked at him. He knew that she was well aware of his presence, so clearly she was avoiding him the best she could. It hurt him.. Hurt him more than she probably knew. He was proud after all so it really hurt deep inside him when she acted the way she did, and ignored him like if he was air.

After what they did the previous night, he had somehow expected a reaction from her and not the cold shoulder he was receiving at the moment. He would actually prefer that she was angry.. if that was the case he had something to analyze, but now he stood with nothing, and it was driving him mad.

After the meeting Hinamori had left immediately, not giving him a chance to confront her. Because of that he gave most of the days paperwork to Matsumomo, even knowing that she probably wouldn't finish it, and then went out to find Hinamori.

He knew that finding her wouldn't be that hard since she spent most of her time in Aizen's old living barrack. Most likely to still keep a glimmer of the past and most of all the old Aizen she held so dear.

As he got to Aizen's old living quarter, he silently slipped in the door - just to find the place exactly as he recalled it last time he visited Captain Aizen. In other words the Captain Aizen before he became a traitor.

On a futon in the middle of the room, however, did a beautiful girl lay in her traditional uniform, with her hair splaying beautifully across the pillow and another pillow in her thin arms. Hinamori.

He approached her almost cautiously as his teal eyes lingered at her intensely. He felt so sad inside whenever he saw her like that. Since they had lived together for many years and had a childhood together, Hitsugaya was well aware of what the pillow she hugged so desperately against her chest meant. It was something she did in times of sorrow.

As he sat down beside her and just looked at her vulnerable face as she slept, he lost all his intentions to speak seriously with her for a moment. Just looking at her was enough. Out of care and concern he gently let the tip of his thumb brush her cheek. He observed as her eyelids weakly moved from his touch, but apparently without completely waking up. He smiled. A thing he did rarely, and only for Hinamori. As she just lay there with the uniform slightly crooked, which allowed a little bit of her pale shoulder to be visible – and also the little red marks he had given her the previous night. With a slight disgust of his work, he let the tip of his fingers gently brush against the most visible mark.

What a night it had been.

She received these little marks almost halfway through their little game. He was already inside her when this happened and he was rocking against her, which made those little sounds of pleasure escape her throat – The sounds he immediately learned to love every inch of, since he knew they were truthful. Maybe she was able to lock him out and cover up her emotions – but the emotions her body showed that night were definitely something she really felt. That was why he loved those sounds.

Eventually, when she was close to her peak, Hitsugaya could feel as her nails slowly dug into his back, and her hips pressed stronger against his slim waist.

And that was when he began to kiss her neck. It started as gentle kisses but developed into something else when Hinamori at last said something..

They had been sucked out for words ever since they both were completely naked, so the sudden words were pretty unexpected. As she was clinging to Hitsugaya, and he was still continuing to pound in her with his eyes closed, the words slipped from Hinamori's mouth.

"A-Aizen Tai.. chou"

Hitsugaya shook the thoughts out of his head, not wanting to recall the memories just yet. After that he began to bite her instead of the gentle kisses, and he refused to let her go at first. Even though he never said anything about her words, he was almost positively sure that she could feel the difference in his acts. There were no more gentle touches, no kisses, no nothing.

He smiled at himself. Swelled in his own irony. He felt like a girl who had been taken advantage of, if that made any sense. And even so, he could never justify in his head what he had done, or why he took it so damn far. Hinamori came to him with the intention of comfort, and what did he do? He bit her, ravaged her and made marks on her otherwise flawless body.

He was not fitted for the tittle 'lover' and neither the title 'friend'.

But he still needed to know how she felt and once for all open her eyes for the monster, Aizen, she had fallen so deeply in love with. Hitsugaya didn't expect her friendship or love after that, but as long as he was able to make some of her misery go away he would be happy on her behalf. And that misery started with Aizen.

When he finally removed his fingers from the marks on her shoulder and was about to leave the barrack again, he noticed how Hinamori slowly moved her body and opened her eyes in a sleepy manner, while Hitsugaya just stood at the doorway with his eyes at her. It took her only a few seconds before she noticed Hitsugaya's presence which made her stumble upon her own words in surprise.

"Hi-Hitsugaya..?!"

Hitsugaya bit his own lips by her words, trying to conceal the distance he felt towards her when she addressed him by his formal name. However - before she could say more, he closed the doors behind him shut, and once again turned against her.

This time slowly walking towards her.

"Hinamori.. We need to talk"

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**Authors notes:** Here is chapter 2 ^^ I hope you enjoyed reading it and I'm happy to receive any! thoughts on my story, since I'm new to writing fanfiction in English. Don't expect next chapter to be out immediately, since I have an big assignment to do at the moment, but I'll see if I can squeeze some fanfiction-writing into my schedule anyway ^^


	3. Loving Frustration

**Authors Notes:**

**Hello out there ^^ Here is chapter 3. It has a lot of dialogue according to my normal standard, but I'm pretty much satisfied with it anyway.**

**I love to read all your reviews (I check daily) and I'll still try to come with chapter 4 as fast as possible taking my spare time into consideration. I have a lot! Of assignments at the moment + a anime/manga con to attend, so I'll come with the update when I have the time to sit down and write ^^**

**Maybe I'll get some extra inspiration at the con? x)**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

He remembered those eyes better than anything. The eyes that were filled with sadness, questions, and most of all… fear. She feared him. When did that happen? Why did it happen?

Hitsugaya tilted his head a little bit while he approached Hinamori with small steady steps. His clear teal eyes not straying from her even for a second.

As if she was a little animal, cornered by a big predator, she stepped back – The before frightened emotions from her eyes were hidden and only her body was still showing signs fright. Her eyes had instead become full of defiance. And her frail and petite body seemed more fragile than he normally imagined it to be.

Maybe he was just imagining things. After all he had not been himself for quite some time.

"We need to talk"

Hinamori stepped back once again by those words, apparently unsure of how to react. "About us, about 'that' night, about Aizen"

The words seemed to have an impact on Hinamori. Her eyes got wider as the words slipped from his mouth, and she almost protectively placed her hand at her chest. "Hitsugaya… Please, just let it be"

She murmured almost too quiet for Hitsugaya to hear it, but since his senses were enhanced in the very moment, he didn't let anything go by unnoticed. Not even the small unsecure words from Hinamori.

"Let it be?" He repeated still getting closer and closer to her - soon close enough to touch her if he reached out for her. How could he ever let something like that go by? If he actually chose to let it be, it would only worsen the problem in time. It was now or never.

Carefully he reached out for her, but she immediately stepped back once again with a somewhat fierce look in her dark eyes. Apparently because her back had finally reached the wall behind her, and she felt trapped between Hitsugaya and the cold wall.

She was indeed trapped, and he wouldn't let her go before everything had been solved.

"You know I can't let it be just like that Hinamori… That night was… was not meant to happen as it did"

Hitsugaya looked down for a moment to hide the difficulties he felt by saying the words. It was really a sore subject for him, even though he was well aware of Hinamoris difficulties, which were probably even worse.

While Hinamori struggled to form a proper sentence he could feel how a slight annoyance welled up in him. Not much, but he was getting tired of exposing himself over and over without getting anything back. It was like a one sided conversation, and once again he lacked emotional reactions from Hinamori. How was she feeling? Did she still linger by the night they spend together? Was she angry at him?

Before he managed to think the situation properly through Hinamori tried to sneak past him in one swift movement. If it had been a normal situation where Hinamori just needed some time alone it would be different. Then he would probably let her go and give her some time to mend her own wounds… but not this time.

Before Hinamori managed to slip completely past him he grabbed her by the arm and forced her up against the wall once again. His teal eyes were looking at her with both wonder and determination. Her eyes opened in surprise and she automatically began to struggle a bit to make him let go of her – but in vain.

He held tightly around her wrists pressing her further up against the wall while he was still trying to think the situation through. He had never intended to withhold her like that. He would rather keep their conversation nice and calm even though he knew it wouldn't be possible. Of course Hinamori would struggle, and of course she was still persistent to deny the truth.

"Please… Let go of me"

Hinamori suddenly whispered with her eyes consistently directed towards the floor. Her words giving a bigger impact on Hitsugaya than he had ever imagined they would have done. He had to keep himself strong and not let himself be affected by her pleading words… even though they reached deep inside his consciousness.

"Listen to me!"

He had raised his voice a bit and his teal eyes were starting to show the uncomfortableness he felt deep down by holding her back like he did.

"That night was a mistake, I was selfish and took advantage of your vulnerable moment… we need to talk it through, now!"

Hinamori shook her head side to side while her legs suddenly began to move as well in a desperate attempt to escape his strong grip. The action just making Hitsugaya tightening his grip, and pin her arms just above her head. He noticed how her crooked uniform slipped further down her petite body by the action and revealed the vulnerable skin at the lowest part of her collarbone.

He quickly lifted his eyes from the visible skin, meeting Hinamoris eyes directly once and for all, and even though she never said anything when their eyes met he could clearly spot the developing helplessness which was hiding in there.

"Please Hinamori… Speak to me"

The pleading voice which escaped his lips surprised even Hitsugaya. He had never imagined that he would ever plead anyone. He wouldn't even plead for his life if someone held a sword against his neck, but here he was, pleading Hinamori, a girl, to speak. He honestly felt disheartened by the whole situation until Hinamori finally chose to comply with his humble request.

"It was my own fault… I was the one who pushed you over the edge… Now let me go"

He was more than surprised when Hinamori finally said something that actually seemed somewhat honest. It felt like forever since she had said something with emotions and even though it was not the reply he had expected, he was none the less happy that she finally raised her voice and spoke about her feelings.

He was unsure of how to react to her words however. He appreciated her answer but it really didn't solve anything other than making him feel better. It didn't help on her situation at all.

"Aizen"

He murmured, making Hinamori react immediately by widening her eyes even further. Apparently his name was enough to make her react.

"You need to face the truth, before the lies he spoke are going to devour you"

Automatically Hitsugaya loosened his grip at her wrists to show her that he never intended to hurt her like she might have assumed. He just wanted to help her, heal her, mend her,love her!

But his love had been twisted by Aizen. He had always been portrayed like the evil one, always done nothing in the situations where action was needed. No. This time he couldn't just watch Hinamori destroy herself without trying to do anything about it.

"He was a liar and he doesn't deserve your grief one bit"

Hinamori seemed to be at loss of words. She was just staring at him with a mix of wonder, confusion, and something Hitsugaya couldn't quite put his finger on.

Almost in a trance he loosened one of his hands completely, just to let it slip down to her cheek. Lovingly he brushed his fingers across the soft skin, showing the comfort he so deeply felt for her, and earning a little surprised gasp from Hinamori's mouth in return.

His eyes lingered by her exposed collarbone once again. He couldn't help but smirk a bit. Even though Hinamori time after time had her thoughts fixated at Aizen, Hitsugaya had been the one to see her beautiful skin that night. Not Aizen. And here he stood again with her, noticing how she had become a woman, and how she really didn't attempt to fight his small caressing movements.

In a sick manner he felt victorious.

Attempting to move even closer, he felt how Hinamori slowly began to loosen up, and allow the intimate moment to develop even further.

"Please… Forget him…"

He whispered almost inaudible against her exposed neck, just before he covered it in small gentle kisses and the familiar feeling of Hinamori's hands tugged at his shirt could be felt.

Somehow Hitsugaya began to lose the faith in his words. He believed that he somehow had to show her that Aizen didn't matter anymore but his words never reached her deep enough…

He slightly pushed her against the wall behind them while he lovingly snaked his fingers under her crooked uniform. In the meanwhile he slowly released her second hand which had still been pinned over her head.

After all it was time for action. He threw his words away and began to rely on the actions he knew would reach her sooner or later. Maybe he had tackled the problem in a wrong manner? Maybe it was not the problem to make Hinamori forget Aizen completely, but rather make Aizen disappear replaced by another persons' face?

Hitsugaya brushed his fingers along her collarbone, still letting the uniform glide further and further down Hinamori's small shoulders.

Hoarse words slipped from his mouth:

"You'll forget him… I'll show you how love is supposed to be done"

**Authors Notes: **Thanks for reading ^^ I still appreciate all kind of reviews ^^ The next chapter will probably be some heavy and detailed 'love-making' so look forward to it :p Chapter 4 will also be the last chapter unless I find a way to make a further plot, but don't expect it ^^


	4. Awake From the Lies

**Author's Notes: **Hello, this is it, the last chapter of 'Tainted by the past'.

It was a pure joy to write this story, and I'll surely be back with other stories once I find a proper plot. At the moment I consider writing a Rangiku x Gin (Bleach) Hei x Amber (Darker than BLACK) or Ulquiorra x Orihime Story, depending on whatever is going to appeal to me most.

I hope you enjoyed this story, and please look out for my other works once they are posted x)

Oh! And if anyone have a pairing (Prefer non yaoi/yuri pairings) they would like to see as a fanfiction, please send me a PM and I'll might consider writing a one-shot of the desired pairing ^^ I'm open to all ideas and since I have seen a lot! Of anime I probably know the pairing you're mentioning already

**This chapter contains mature content**

"You'll forget him… I'll show you how love is supposed to be done"

Hinamori opened her mouth to say something but closed it again quickly afterwards. Her dark eyes was staring intensely at him, as if she was trying to read his mind – but apparently unsuccessful.

He smiled silently at this, lightly brushing his hand across the top of her head, gently holding a bit of the hair between his fingers as he did so.

He never really thought about a suiting word… a suiting word for his feelings towards Hinamori.

Even though many people would call it by the simple word 'love' just as he had said earlier, he would never do so. There were so much more behind it, than the emotions and actions which involved 'love'. It was a feeling he could never describe properly or put just the right words on. It was like affection, care, warmth, put up between the feelings of worry and protectiveness. He would always feel comfortable warmth spread across his otherwise cold body when she smiled, and always feel the need to protect her, even in situations where she could make it on her own - after all, she was not quite as fragile as he usually made her look.

And even so, he constantly felt the need to hold his cold hand over her and shut off all harm towards her. He might have smothered her too much - way too much, so when the harsh realities of life appeared and she needed to fly, she couldn't. Because he was the one who cut off her wings – to protect her from the evil world she had grown blind against.

He shook the thoughts out of his head, meeting Hinamori's dark eyes as he did so. A soft smile appeared on his lips just before he leaned his head closer to hers, placing a soft kiss across her lips, refusing to explain anymore.

As Hinamori's uniform slid down her shoulders, he allowed himself to take the whole sight in for a moment – which made Hinamori blush and shift somewhat nervously. Even though half of the uniform still hung on Hinamori's hips, the sight of her upper body were enough to make him state what he already knew. Hinamori were beautiful - with or without clothing on.

Even though he had a desperate need to say 'you're beautiful', he kept himself from saying it, and instead placed his cold hands against her stomach, before once again, moving closer to her.

While he tenderly placed kisses across her jaw line and down to her throat, he felt how Hinamori began to loosen up. The stiffness was now replaced by almost curious hands, who very quickly found its way up to his white hair. The familiar noises escaped Hinamori's throat.

Oh how he had missed those sounds.

Hitsugaya surrendered completely to the moment of passion, and gently cupped Hinamori's small breasts as he continued his kisses down to her neck, sucking at the warm flesh, and leaving small traces of salvia where his tongue had been.

Since he was aware of the pressure that Hinamori felt from the wall behind her, he gently took her by the hand, and led her towards the futon she had been sleeping on earlier - keeping his intense gaze at her the whole time.

Apparently a little flushed by the whole situation, Hinamori followed him with cautious steps, and allowed him to help her down on the futon. When she was finally lying down with her hair splayed all over the white sheets, Hitsugaya took a good amount of air down to his lounges, desperately trying to control his breathing which had become rougher than usual.

He was obviously very excited by the whole situation.

Hitsugaya slowly slid a finger across Hinamori's leg and up to her thigh, making her shiver slightly. He smiled at this, and continued to let his fingers one after another slide up from her ankles and all the way up to the top of her thighs, stopping there just to tease her a little bit.

The teasing was clearly shown in the way Hinamori started to writhe when he reached the top of her thighs, urging him to continue.

Hitsugaya still smiled a bit as he met Hinamori's eyes - the teasing had been going on for too long, since the pleading filling her eyes to the breaking point.

He had never seen her like that before. He had known her for many years now, and seen her in all sorts of states. States like extreme happiness, extreme anger and extreme despair… But he had never seen her with such breathtaking lust and pleads in her eyes. It was really a new experience, which only added to his growing need for the young woman in front of him.

The fact that he was hovering over her like some sort of predator only adding to this feeling.

Hinamori had, in the meanwhile, grown impatient and therefore grabbed the collar of his uniform only to tug him down to her lips, kissing him hungry and with a passion he had never! Even once felt that fateful night he 'comforted her'.

That night was just plain sex while this was something completely different. Much more tender, much more relaxed, and filled with the love he so desperately had lacked that fateful night. His love had been shadowed by the extreme jealousy he felt towards Aizen, but that was the past now. There were no more time for the past, only time for the present and the love he had to show the inexperienced and confused Hinamori.

Hitsugaya replied her passionate kiss, by tugging lightly at her bottom lip, while he ran his fingers through her long dark hair which gave a cool and smooth feeling towards the skin of his fingers.

When Hinamori replied to his kiss by opening her mouth slightly, he took the chance at pure instinct, by slowly sliding his tongue inside. He was met by a salt and soft flavor he had never tasted before. It was very difficult to explain the sensation it brought to his whole body, but none the less he could feel how his sanity disappeared by every confirming touch he felt from her tongue. The conceived 10th squad captain was slowly giving in to one pure feeling - lust.

He listened eagerly to the small muffled moans from Hinamori, closing his eyes and concentrating on her soft skin under his.

When he slid his hands from her hair down to her breasts he could clearly feel how her chest began to rise in a more fast pace and how she once and for all didn't just tug at his clothing, but actually made an real effort to get it off.

A little unsure of how to reply to this, he reluctantly broke the kiss and helped her remove his shirt and the captain haori he wore over it. He did this in what seemed like a split second before he once again had placed himself on top of her and with hungry kisses that somehow seemed to last forever.

The loss of the haori and shirt made Hinamori explore Hitsugaya's chest with small curios hands, apparently not as nervous as he first assumed she would be.

After all he had been nothing like loving or caring last time they had let their skin touch, and he feared that it would affect the love he wanted to show her. But he was wrong. She seemed close to unaffected and for that, he admired her more than anyone.

Hitsugaya earned small anticipating pants from Hinamori when he finally stopped teasing her and slid his fingers all the way up her legs and to the lowest part of her panties, not really bothering to remove the last part of her uniform which she still wore.

Urging him to continue this, Hinamori carefully grabbed his free hand, holding it with their fingers entangled into each other. He could feel how she clutched his hand tighter when he gently rubbed the white fabric that hid her womanhood, and how she once again began to squirm a little bit.

He looked at her while continuing to do this, noticing how she had closed her eyes and gradually began to pant for air more visibly.

The fact that he was really pleasing her a lot more than he pleased himself wasn't one of his concerns. Even though the kisses they had shared were arousing, he didn't have a problem to control himself. Not this time. After all, his main quest was to please and love Hinamori in every physical way that didn't include words.

So as he did this, loving the best he was able to, he kept his eyes open to all signs of her body. How her body moved when he touched her thighs, how she threw her head back and forth when he went on with touching her between the legs, and how her breathing gradually became rougher with all of this.

Even when he finally decided to remove her panties, he still kept his teal eyes open, analyzing all the reactions her body might could give him. Was it really okay? Did she want this?

All these questions were somehow answered when she opened her dark eyes, looking at him for a long time, before she helped him remove the panties that had robbed her most of the pleasure from his hand and fingers.

Hitsugaya noticed how the blush across her cheeks became more and more visible as her panties came off, and how she had become wet down there - a sign that he in fact was pleasuring her in the right way.

"Please Hitsugaya…"

He diverted his gaze from her body, and directed it towards her face for a short moment. He refused to say anything as she verbally pleaded him to continue – after all, 'please' wasn't necessary to make him continue.

Before long he had placed his hand at her now exposed womanhood, slowly inserting a finger which made Hinamori arch her back in what seemed like a mix of pain and pleasure.

Before long the pain and uncomfortableness from the intrusion faded and she instead began to raise her voice into those soft pants that was much more worth than mere words.

Love was a weak word compared to the emotions which slowly swept over him in small waves of admiration, fascination and urges. It was too much for him to handle and before long he found himself kissing every inch of her body while he still continued to please her neither regions with his finger.

It gradually became harder and harder to contain himself. He thought it would be easy, after all this wasn't supposed to be about him, but ever since the panting and moans had filled the room and his teal eyes began to suck too much of Hinamori in, he felt how the urging crawled up his spine. His desires began to take over. She was too beautiful to not posses, to not take and to not love.

As he passionately kissed the spot between Hinamori's breasts he began to notice how she slid the rest of her uniform off and shortly afterwards began to tug at his remaining clothing too.

He was surprised that Hinamori were so impatient, but none the less he perceived it to be a positive sign.

As the rest of the clothing came off and they now were completely naked, Hitsugaya took a deep breath before once again lowering himself down to her petite body. The nakedness didn't affect him when his cold lips brushed the sensitive skin around her neck, making Hinamori shiver in delight.

Earlier, Hinamori had been the only one panting in delight, but this feeling was now transferred slow and steady to Hitsugaya as well. He was restless to take her everything, but then again felt like he wanted the moment to last forever.

As he placed his hands around her waist and pulled her closer he could feel her heart beat through her bared chest. He hoped and wished that his feelings would reach her. That her eyes once again would open, and that she would forget Aizen – even if it was just for a short period of time.

He slowly lifted his body so he sat up, while pulling Hinamori with him who seemed to understand the situation and therefore placed her head at his shoulder, and reaching around his back to find some sort of support.

"Relax…"

He whispered gently close to her neck, breaking the silence he earlier had wanted to keep. With these words he lovingly caressed her hair before sliding into her womanhood, earning a stifled sound of pain from her throat.

He knew it would hurt at first, so he tried his best to take it slow and give her time to adjust before taking it any further.

Before long Hinamori began to move a bit in his lap to gain the friction she now had become accustomed to – Urging Hitsugaya to make his move.

Moans filled the room once again mixed with the sound of their desperate kisses. Hitsugaya could feel how Hinamori gradually clutched at his back more and more as he moved into her, only adding to the pressure that was slowly building up inside him. He was going mad.

It didn't take long before he could feel Hinamori tensing further and her nails that were violently digging into the sensitive flesh on his back, making him growl from the sudden pain it brought to him.

This pain was, however, quickly replaced by an overwhelming wave of pleasure that filled his whole body and made him clung to Hinamori even more than he already did.

As they rode the rush of ecstasy off together almost inaudible words slipped from Hinamori's mouth, making Hitsugaya widen his eyes and holding his breath for a moment.

"I love you… Hitsugaya"

**Author's notes: **So this was the last chapter of 'Tainted by the past', I hope this story was enjoyable and that you guys will look out for my new stories once they are done. Bye for now x)


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